5 months and 16 days took me to sit down in front
of the blank Word page and starting to write this post.
5 months and 16 days took me to realize that I
really should continue writing my blog, not only for world travellers, 3rd
culture kids but actually for myself.
5 months, without 16 days took me to get my shit
together and be present now, not yesterday or tomorrow "what if" .
From the beginning, I left Barcelona, moved back to
Amsterdam where I continue my studies, had some more and less stressful
moments, parties which I wish I did not remember and met people whom I did not
give enough time. The third part will be in today's post.
Giving each
other time, understanding, talking without judgment, being present
here and now.
Be focused on others more than yourself.
Remember the old days when you had eye contact
during a conversation? When everyone wasn't looking down at a device in theirs
hands? We've become so focused on that tiny screen that we forget the big
picture, the people right in front of us.
We become so egocentric that we
do not realize how many things are around us and how many people are in need.
No, not poor people who ask you for a coin or cigarettes on a street but people
with who you live and share your life. It may be anyone, your best friend,
parent, sibling, neighbor, partner, colleague.. you name it.
Everyday we pass by people, who do good, who give us
energy to live and who love us. Unfortunately we are focused too much on our
lives that we create an excuse “ I do not have time” in order to not help
someone else or to not give our expensive time to someone, who may need it more
than us.
Being busy is nothing bad, being busy keeps us away
from sinning, being lazy or in general from doing bad things. But have you
wondered recently if your friends are all right ? I mean, all right.. not ok. ? Have you wondered that sometimes doing small good things may bring you double
positive energy, which you may need now more than sth else? Have you wondered that sometimes skipping instagram, snapchat or facebook for next 20 minutes in a tram will be more
valuable than scrolling down the screen? Maybe in that moment ,when you will not
be focused so much on yourself will realize the world around you and people who
may need your sit in a tram. Maybe you will realize a friend who tries to tell you something very
important but you are too busy with your stories that you cannot realize an
important message in his/her eyes ?
One thing, do you know why you never remember a
name said for the first time? When you are introducing to someone new, both
hands shake, smile is exchanged but there is a moment after 2 seconds which
asks you “ what was her/his name ?? “
I may not discover America now but I will tell you
why,
Because you are focused too much on HOW you are
going to tell YOUR name that you do NOT listen what other person says.
Fair enough ? cool, because this simple example
does not apply only for introducing yourself but also on everyday
conversations.
People who know me they know that I am very
talkative person, that I just love to speak and I love to have all this
attention on me. Because I am also aware of these things so made an exercise
with myself, it was like a training my personality.
I made an appointment with a friend I did not know
longer than 3 months. Because we are still new to each other, there are
plenty of topics to be discussed, there are plenty of stuff to be done. But no,
I said to myself that today everything is going to be about her. The conversation
started very simple, about recent stories with a partner, break ups, coming
back, work, school, living - Everyday things. The trick I used while
talking with her for first 30 minutes was that I was not interrupting her, I
was listening without even nodding, without using AHA, OK, YES, WHAT THEN…
She felt that I am really listening to what she
would like to say and because I was not interrupting- she was talking more and
more and started to share with me things, I did not expect from our simple afternoon
meeting. She was talking more, expressing emotions, asking herself about what
she want and I was just listening, trying in a meanwhile to ask her questions,
instead of judging*
*( judging- everything can be judged by telling
your opinion, which is not always necessary or asked).
I wont tell you what happened next or what did she
share with me but I will tell you what would have changed if I did not remain
silence.
By starting with Hi, how are you? Everyone tells
things, happenings, recent stories. Everyone would like to share with as many
things as possible or sometimes people just want to talk bullshit to feel
better. But then only YOU decide about the quality of the conversation. I am
not saying that it always has to be about “life and dead”, of course not,
giggling laughing and looking at each other is even more my style than anything
else but what I am trying to tell you today is to focus sometimes on someone
else rather than yourself.
We need to be smarter than our smart phones and
realize the people we are with are more important than the people we aren't
with, and way more important than the strangers we hope will tweet,snap and
like and share and Instagram whatever we're sending out into the cybersphere.
Have you wondered recently that you did not give
enough attention to your friends but to someone else, who did not appreciate*
it?
*appreciate it- I changed this word from d e s e r
v e . in my opinion there is nothing we have granted from life and this is not
like we deserve something or not. It is only our work, which then will pay us
off or not.
Have you wondered recently that you did not smile
enough, laugh enough, spend spare time in a park instead a bar?
Did you thank your friend for being for you while
you did not care about anything else but your problems?
Do you know when was the last time you dropped your
friend at the airport, bought your gf flowers without any occasion or invited
your friend for a dinner just because you are friends and there is always sth
to celebrate?
Its always a good time to say thank you or I am
sorry. Don’t postpone it, because there is always someone who is important to
you.
"if you want to see a miracle, you have to be
a miracle". - Regina Brett
one last thing, a commercial video from YT, which moved me a bit. enjoy
with L O V E
Natalia
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